"More Random Thoughts"

A few nights ago, I was on twitter because I was restless and couldn't fall asleep. This time on twitter it was the early morning perhaps around two am and this guy was talking to his buddy about this hot guy he saw in the mall and he managed the "courage" to go up to him and start a conversation. They chatted for several moments and then exchanged phone numbers. I smiled when I read it as I felt good about what and how he was so excited about the encounter.

I normally would have shouted "atta boy" to him but for some reason I decided not to chat on twitter as I didn't really know anybody but just laid back and listened to all the peeps tweeting. Anyway, I continue to listen to this guy thinking "how cool he was" but then he took me by complete surprise and told his buddy that he met with the guy and decided he wanted no part of him because he found out that he was HIV POZ and that turned him off!!!! The guy made me even more pissed when he said, " I felt dirty to be around him"! I was so fucking angry at his statement that I wanted to "beat his ass" but luckily I held my tongue. It was none of my business and no matter how angry it made me to hear these words, "it still was none of my business to interfere"!

It took several weeks for me to get over it. Am I too sensitive? Perhaps! Years ago, I was going to school to become a nurse and while I was in school, I took a job as a CNA/HHA to make ends meet. I took on care giving with HIV patients as I thought at the time this would be a great way to "give back to the community" and at the same time, take on something really hard to get my feet wet, per se in a nursing setting.

It had to be the hardest job I ever had, as this was the "before combo-cocktails" medication and the men and women were dying everyday. It was devastating to see so many good men and women, die before their time, before they even had a chance to make their "mark on life". Many a sad day was had and when they did pass away, for some unknown reason, it was always on my shift. It was an honor to be with them but at the same time, a big loss. In time, I dropped out of nursing school as I just couldn't handle "micro-biology" and went into another venue of health care.

It seems unreal that there are so many men out there who are still completely ignorant of HIV and the "real truths" about it. You couldn't then and you still can't today, catch the virus by speaking, holding hands, touching or for that matter, kissing a hiv positive person. Some will argue about "kissing" kicking in some nonsense about mouth sores or fungus of sorts but in reality this too is too hyped up for it to be even out there. I'm not going to dwell on that fact as it is rare and lets be honest with each other, on your first date or meeting, (unless its a one nite stand" per se, you won't be having your tongue down his/her throat like there is no tomorrow unless this is your most gifted talent :) then I'd beware.

The point of what I was trying to make, just because a man or woman is HIV POZ it does NOT mean NOR should it be in the same sentence that "he or she is dirty". I resent hearing it and would appreciate you reading up on the subject matter before you throw the "hate word" out there.

Those who prefer to have "unprotected sex" know the risks and it is NOT something to look down on for those who choose it. If, my best friend told me he was having unprotected sex, I would probably read him the riot act and want to slap him up and down but he would always be my best friend even if he contracted the Virus. I wouldn't turn away but I am sure I'd be kicking his ass "virtually" in my mind. Once a friend of mine, always a friend. And yes, if he got sick, I'd be there holding his hand, and not saying anything more than I love you buddy!

Stating in your profile that you are "HIV Negative" is still a good thing but please refrain from saying "dirty" or even "STD Free" these are unnecessary words. Always be upfront with each other, it's only fair. I don't think it is necessary to even utter the words, "POZ FRIENDLY" you make it sound like you are giving a gift or going out of you way. Life is short, we all are aware that this is it, so live it fully, live it honestly, and you'd be surprised finding out what a better man or woman you are by just being yourself.

Peace!